"Part 16: I Am Going To Commit Suicide in Two Weeks and There Is Nothing You Can Say Or Do To Stop Me From Killing Myself!!!" by Ralph Zuranski
12-26-07 12:41 PM
Ralph
It is not just what rick did, or even just the things my wife has done. After all I am pretty sure Rick did not twist her arm. I hope I do not come off as being that naive in my old age. It is not just the war or that my old man beat us and made us kneel on marbles.
I seem to have made a lot of bad choices and the results are what they are. I have not tried to make up for my bad decisions by doing good deeds. I learned a very long time ago a man cannot do a deed for its reward or to try to negate a negative. One can only do right for the sake of right.
There is sometimes only the reward of knowing yourself to be better in your heart for it. I honestly believe a man should do good things under the cover of silence and dignity. Except for the purpose of teaching others a man deeds should not be made public.
The things I told you in confidence, I hope, were just the verbosity of a tired and lonely man trying to make sense of my darkness.
Ralph I am going to end our correspondence at this point.
I will tell That I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow to try one more time.
Thank you for kindness